Title: Warm Again
Rating: R
Pairing: Spike/Buffy
Spoilers: Post-Not Fade Away
Summary: After the final battle, Spike returns to Buffy for a bittersweet reunion. Spike's POV.
Disclaimer: Not mine. All hail Joss. Or send him a fruit basket or something.
Warning: I'm just giving a blanket warning here, 'cause I don't want to give anything away. But you can't say you weren't warned though!



Warm Again


He still doesn't believe it. The scent of her surrounds him and all he can feel, breath, taste - is her. She’s filled him up with sweet kisses; whispers of love and devotion. How can she possibly mean it? Is this even real?

But then her lips are on his again, tugging and pulling, and all he knows is this. Her sweet blood pulsates through kiss-swollen lips. It tinges her cheeks a delicious shade of pink as her breaths come in short, needy gasps. He can’t believe he’s responsible for these reactions; the rise in tempo of her heartbeat, the sweat that licks her skin, the way her body sings.

As he moves with her, inside her, her lips tease his ear. The breathy sound of her voice whispering words he dreamed of, but never dare hoped he’d hear. It’s overwhelming, and the urge to cry out his joy, in deep, body-wracking sobs begins to win.

Then she is there again, kissing away the pain as the soft pads of her thumbs wipe at the salty drops. As he stares into the hazel depths of her eyes, he thinks she glows.

There is so much that he needs to tell her. There aren’t enough words in the English language for him to explain how sorry he is for not coming sooner. But she’ll understand, he is sure of it. There will be anger for certain, and heartache at the news he brings, but they’ll move past. The way her fingers massage the muscles of his back, the slight tightness in her limbs as pleasure wracks through her again, are all promises of a future that they can build. A future she wants to be with him.

Long minutes meld into hours before they drift off into a sated slumber, a deep sense of peace permeating them both. His body warmed so exquisitely by her touch, that to both of them, it feels like coming home.

So when he awakens, feeling drugged with happiness and love like he never thought possible, he is surprised by the coolness suffusing his limbs. A beat passes in silence; utter, world-crashing silence. Her arms are still wrapped around him, spooning him from behind. But there is no warmth where her skin meets his. The soft, heady patter of her heart is absent, and the light tickle of her breath on his neck that had lulled him to sleep is gone.

The doctors explain later that it was the result of a congenital disorder. Something about how one of the arteries leading to her brain stem had narrowed over time, until finally culminating in the aneurysm that killed her. Something like what wrong with Joyce. There was nothing that anyone could have done, and they should take comfort in knowing she died peacefully in her sleep.

As everyone begins the mourning process, clinging to one another in a desperate attempt to find comfort that can’t be found, Spike’s mind continues to go over what it was the doctor had said, boils it down to understandable terms.

Blood.

Buffy was dead because of her own blood. He should have known. He's a vampire, for god sakes!

It all always came down to blood.

As he exits the hospital, he barely feels the sun’s ray’s as they lap at his skin, all he knows is that finally, he is warm again.

~End~


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